Funny Christmas Quotes Sayings

Quotes

Funny Christmas Quotes Sayings

Here you will find collection of funny Christmas quotes,Best hilarious Christmas quotes sayings,Funny short Christmas quotes.

 

Funny Christmas Quotes Sayings For Christmas Day

 

Keep your friends close, your enemies closer,
and receipts for all major purchases.
~ Bridger Winegar

 

Let’s be naughty and save Santa the trip.
~ Gary Allan

 

The main reason Santa is so jolly is
because he knows where all the bad girls live.
~ George Carlin

 

What I don’t like about office Christmas parties
is looking for a job the next day.
~ Phyllis Diller

 

I once bought my kids a set of batteries for Christmas
with a note on it saying, toys not included.
~ Bernard Manning

 

There are some people who want to throw
their arms round you simply because it is Christmas;
there are other people who want to strangle you
simply because it is Christmas.
~ Robert Staughton Lynd

 

Hilarious Christmas Quotes

 

Once again, we come to the Holiday Season,
a deeply religious time that each of us observes,
in his own way, by going to the mall of his choice.
~ Dave Barry

 

Santa Claus has the right idea
visit people only once a year.
~ Victor Borge

 

Christmas is a baby shower
that went totally overboard.
~ Andy Borowitz

 

Mail your packages early so the post office
can lose them in time for Christmas.
~ Johnny Carson

 

Read More: Romantic Christmas Love Quotes

 

Christmas is a state of mind and that special feeling
that only comes with an empty bank account.
~ Melanie White

 

That’s the true spirit of Christmas:
people being helped by people other
than me.
~ Jerry Seinfeld

 

A lovely thing about Christmas is that it’s compulsory,
like a thunderstorm and we all go through it together.
~ Garrison Keillor

 

Never worry about the size of your Christmas tree.
In the eyes of children, they are all 30 feet tall.
~ Larry Wilde

 

I stopped believing in Santa Clause when I was six.
Mother took me to see him in a department store,
and he asked for my autograph.
~ Shirley Temple

 

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