Funny Christmas Quotes Sayings
Here you will find collection of funny Christmas quotes,Best hilarious Christmas quotes sayings,Funny short Christmas quotes.
Keep your friends close, your enemies closer,
and receipts for all major purchases.
~ Bridger Winegar
Let’s be naughty and save Santa the trip.
~ Gary Allan
The main reason Santa is so jolly is
because he knows where all the bad girls live.
~ George Carlin
What I don’t like about office Christmas parties
is looking for a job the next day.
~ Phyllis Diller
I once bought my kids a set of batteries for Christmas
with a note on it saying, toys not included.
~ Bernard Manning
There are some people who want to throw
their arms round you simply because it is Christmas;
there are other people who want to strangle you
simply because it is Christmas.
~ Robert Staughton Lynd
Hilarious Christmas Quotes
Once again, we come to the Holiday Season,
a deeply religious time that each of us observes,
in his own way, by going to the mall of his choice.
~ Dave Barry
Santa Claus has the right idea
visit people only once a year.
~ Victor Borge
Christmas is a baby shower
that went totally overboard.
~ Andy Borowitz
Mail your packages early so the post office
can lose them in time for Christmas.
~ Johnny Carson
Read More: Romantic Christmas Love Quotes
Christmas is a state of mind and that special feeling
that only comes with an empty bank account.
~ Melanie White
That’s the true spirit of Christmas:
people being helped by people other
than me.
~ Jerry Seinfeld
A lovely thing about Christmas is that it’s compulsory,
like a thunderstorm and we all go through it together.
~ Garrison Keillor
Never worry about the size of your Christmas tree.
In the eyes of children, they are all 30 feet tall.
~ Larry Wilde
I stopped believing in Santa Clause when I was six.
Mother took me to see him in a department store,
and he asked for my autograph.
~ Shirley Temple